In 2013 at age 27 with no children of my own, I had a laparoscopic tubal ligation surgery. It’s now 2018 and I am 32 years old.
I still have no regrets about my decision to have the surgery or to never have children. Turning 30 did not change my priorities or future plans. Getting divorced didn’t either. When many of my friends started their families, my biological clock remained silent. Even when my little sister had a baby – the first grandchild for my parents – my biological clock did not protest. And when my baby sister got engaged with talk of future children, I heard no biological chime or tick tock. The decision to not having children was based on my preferences and priorities, not on circumstances or current relationship.
I advise anyone considering sterilization to make sure your circumstances aren’t the root cause for it, as that is what will cause regret later in life. How does one know? I think one way to explore is visualization. Picture you and your partner with children and compare that to picturing yourself with children alone. If you can’t picture children with your current partner, but you can picture children by yourself or with some imagined partner, then I think it’s your partner you are having issues with and not the idea of children in general. Once I figured out opting out of having kids was an option, I embraced it wholeheartedly.
As for tubal ligation syndrome, I can tell you that I ended up having another laparoscopic procedure for endometriosis. When I had my tubal, the surgeon took pictures and showed me the endometriosis spots that she burned off while handling my Fallopian tubes. Last year in 2017, I had another laparoscopic surgery to do the same thing – burn the endometriosis spots. I had been in TERRIBLE pain for every period. It was a monthly trauma that left me prostrate in the fetal position, begging friends and family for opioids. The surgery helped the awful pain tremendously! The incision was in the same place as my tubal ligation scar, which is still white and not that noticeable. Because endometriosis is recurring, I will likely need the surgery again or maybe a partial hysterectomy – all depending on insurance of course.
I believe that the endometriosis is actually what caused the heavier periods that I was noticing after my tubal. My body has definitely settled down and isn’t spotting like it was 1.5 years post-tubal. I have changed my pain meds to 1000mg Tylenol and up to 1000mg aspirin every 6 hours. Besides the endometriosis, I think my body has reached its homeostasis after the tubal.
My hope is that in the five years since my tubal and with all the publicity the childfree-by-choice community has gotten in the press, the medical community will change its outdated ways and listen to the women like me who know they do not want children. I am still happy to answer any questions.